Mop-Up Nitro (Flashback: June 1997) 8.21.00
By Hyatte
Mop-Up Nitro
Yes, here is the second part of the first ever Mop-Up. The funny thing is, Scoops was able to load the entire column... both recaps... on one page... yes it's true, it's true. So, if you're up for it, come take a look at what Nitro was all about when I first came online... and remember, I am recapping the number 1 wrestling show on television.
Oh and one good thing about this is how SHORT the recaps are... my God, you can now say that you breezed through a full Mop-Up inside 10 MINUTES!!!!
I can hear you out there yell, "We do that already, Hyatte... IMBECILE!!"
Eat me... fanboy
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NITRO: (or: Do we even try to live up to last week's excitment or at least try to make up for last night's miserable PPV?)
-Opens with a limo pulling up to the arena to the tune of Hendrix's Voodoo Child (great touch) Hall, Nash, Syxx, Bischoff, Hogan, Savage, and DENNIS RODMAN get out and make their way to the ring, (at least Rodman, Hogan, and Bischoff did at least..the others disappeared).
-Bischoff does his usual shtick, then Hogan announces that he's going to let Rodman beat up both Lex Luger (or Lex LUTHOR, as Rodman called him) and the Giant. Rodman looks
skinny next to Hogan.
-first match is Glacier vs either Mortis or Wraith (does anyone really care which?) The only thing good about Blood Runs Cold is the pretty light show
-Eric puts out to try to hide the fact that these guys put people to sleep. It was the usual match, with the usual ending with the exception that it was a bit more aggresive than usual and that Glacier was helped by Ernest Miller, who did his best to liven things up. The smartest thing Eric did was put this match on first, while the crowd was still jacked up.
-Gene Okerlund interviewed Madusa. Madusa announced that last night was the end of her career (she was very upset...crying at times)
-Madusa thanked her fans for their support (I swear that I heard one clown yell, "Alundra Blaze
Rules!") and left in tears. For this she threw the WWF women's title in the trash?
-Malenko enters the ring, footage of how Eddie Guerrero caused Malenko to lose his title last week. Malenko hit the ring and challenged Eddie to get in the ring.
-Chavo Guerrero JR comes to the ring (it was speculated if Eddie sent him out). Malenko promptly laid waste to Chavo, and put him in the Cloverleaf, right in front of Eddie, who came out to watch. (I know it's been said before, but Malenko needs a personality bad.)
-Mexican match between Super Calo and La Parka. Both men were in black, (which made it so easy to tell the two apart, I don't know about you, but all these mask guys are so interchangeable to me...I need a little character in my wrestlers dammit!) It was a great match anyway, with the usual array of insane moves.
The guy in black won. Speaking of a little character, La Parka nailed Calo with a chair after the match.
-Gene interviews Luger and the Giant. Lex is looking balder than ever and the Giant shaved his mustache, but kept his beard. Luger admitted that Hogan and Rodman are too cool for the room, but reminded us that Hogan was in his rack just last week, screaming for mercy. In the end, Luger and the Giant graciously accepted Hogan's challenge.
-The Amazing French Canadians came out to fight Harlem Heat. Before hand, Nitro's cameras showed us a sign which said the WWF Sucks (but over on RAW, a sign that said Bischoff Sux Dix was quite prominently displayed, so there)
-Harlem Heat won in pretty quick fashion, looking as sharp as ever. (IMO, they carried the Steiners last night)
-Gene interviews JJ Dillon. JJ claimed that the Heat's victory last night was "tainted" by the interference of Vincent. JJ said that the Heat had to give the Steiners a rematch for the title shot.
-Then Vince came out and told the Heat that they were given an early Christmas gift from the
Outsiders with the title shot. The Heat thanked Vince by beating the snot out of him.
-Syxx vs Rey Misterio Jr. Hall and Nash surprised no one by coming in with Syxx. Say what you want about his size, but Syxx is one of the better workers today, and Misterio aint no slouch either.
-Early in the match, Nitro let the fireworks loose to remind those without clocks or watches that
the second hour was arrived, (why do it during a match?) The match was slower than Misterio was used to.
-During the match, Shiavone, Tenay, and Heenan were plugging the Hogan/Rodman vs Luger/Giant that was coming later on the show (How many folks see a screwjob coming? Raise your hands.) The match picked up and Misterio did his usual somersault, flip, plancha, crashing
headfirst, corkscrew, totally cool moves that would put mortal men in the hospital.
-Hall and Nash jumped in when Syxx was getting creamed and Rey did a respectable job of cleaning house.
-Syxx ended up with the win with the buzzkill. (otherwise known as the cross face chicken wing)
-Then Nash powerbombed Rey for the Hell of it (Tenay called it a "Jacknife" for the
first time, possibly by accident). Afterwards, Hall and Nash started to brag about the beating the gave Piper, then introduced Savage (who looks like he's having more fun now, then he ever has in his career)
-Savage starts in on how he wasted DDP last night at the Great American Bash. Then DDP appeared in the upper decks and said that if Savage needed Hall to beat him (for those who didn't see it, Hall jumped DDP last night and helped Savage win)
-DDP announced that he had a partner and would take on Hall and Savage at the Bash at the Beach. He said that everyone knows who it is, (since he was in the rafters, maybe Sting? It's probably Henning simply because Henning was once an AWA tag team champion with "Magnum" Scott Hall early in the Bad Guy's ((Or the artist formerly known as the Bad Guy))
career.)
-Ultimo Dragon vs Chris Jericho. I am still waiting for someone to dump beer all over Jericho whenever he leans against the railing. Smart ass punk deserves it. Sonny Ono (any relation to Yoko?) tried to offer Jericho some cashola to give Dragon a lesson, Jericho promptly knocked Ono down. Heenan said that the Rodman/Hogan vs Luger/Giant would be the "biggest match that Chicago ever saw" (as if it'll happen tonight, Heenan has turned into such
a sellout)
-Both men put in an effort, even though the fans started chanting "BORING" In the end, Jericho ended up with the job to Ultimo. Should Shawn Micheals ever show up in WCW, his first order of business should be to put Jericho in his copycat place.
-Gene Okerlund interviews Roddy Piper, who looks just plain tired. Piper says that Rodman cannot borrow his kilt tonight (painful to hear). Piper calls out Ric Flair to explain himself. Flair comes out to his usual ovation.
-Piper reminds Ric that he was left alone last night and was wondering what happened? Flair said that he loved Piper and he was in a "fight of his life" backstage and couldn't get back in time. Piper said that it was cool and they left as friends, but not together ?!?
-Buff and Norton vs Mongo and Jarrett. It struck me odd that Bagwell and Norton were NOT with the NWO in the limo at the beginning of the show, but no one said anything about it. The Chicago crowd showed their loyalty to Mongo, but I have to ask, why does every football player turned wrestler have to use a three point stance as a move set up? It is just so weak. When he was in there, Buff spent most of his time posing to the camera.
-one note: Bagwell looks so gay with that NWO choker around his neck. The George Clooney duka doesn't help either.
-The match ended when Jarrett had Buff stunned and invited Mongo to strut with him. Instead, Mongo tombstoned Jarrett's ass and yelled in the camera that it was payback for Jarrett costing Mongo the match last night against Kevin Greene. Jarrett was pinned easily afterwards. Let's get something straight right now...the Four Horsemen are DEAD. Whatever this group is, they are not Horsemen.
-Hogan and Rodman hit the ring, again to the tune of Voodoo Child. (hit? it took them about 5 minutes to get there) Rodman started to talk to the camera..but it was unintelligable. Hogan rambled for a few minutes (I think he loves the sound of his own voice)
-Basically, they stall a bit to kill time before the ending. Rodman says that he has things to do and has to leave. As they leave, they are met by Luger and the Giant, who walk them back into the ring.
-When they all hit the ring, Luger and Hogan went at it and Rodman attacked the Giant...it didn't quite work out as the Giant chokeslammed the Worm. Soon afterwards, Hogan and Rodman had both guys down and were joined by the Wolfpack and Savage for a little spraypaint action.
-Rodman seemed to be having fun as he delivered a few wimpy elbowdrops to the Giant. Under a hail (and I mean a MASSIVE downpour) of beer, cups, and debris, (including a great shot of a cup sailing right across the ring and into a camera which was turned on at the time, beer went everywhere)
-By now, all the wrestlers were used to the shower. Only referee Randy Anderson
had the sense to try to cover himself.
That was it. The best I can say is that it was your typical Nitro...concentrating on selling the next pay per view and little else.
As I type this, it is 4:30 A.M. tuesday morning. My eyes are blurring and I am yawning like crazy, so I'll make this quick:
RAW did more in terms of creating and continuing angles, but neither offered killer shows.
The official Unnecessary Hyperbole count remains:
# of times Good Ol' JR says "Slobberknocker"--0
# of times someone on Nitro screams, "NO DON'T GO TO COMMERCIAL NOW!!!"--0.
Goose eggs all around.
Time to sleep, so....
That's that,
This is the Mop-Up,
I am...
Chris Hyatte
(knows how to style, knows how to profile, but has no clue how to do both)
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